What is anxiety? Do you know the feeling of feeling trapped in a dangerous situation? Like if you were in the middle of the road without the opportunity to move and the cars rushing towards you for the full blow? Then you also know the anxiety that arises in a harmless situation but that feels exactly the same way – just as intense and awful!

For the emotional sense is the same – regardless of whether the anxiety is real or irrational.

So far so good. Now you know that irrational anxiety feels just like fear of real danger. But what is irrational fear really?

You get my bid on that.

What is irrational anxiety?
Anxiety in itself is not dangerous. It just feels like that. Anxiety is a natural survival mechanism that starts when you are in danger. It is a kind of alarm that makes you react (in a split second) so you either fight or flee away from the dangerous situation.

The combat or flight state feels so awful that you are being driven to immediate action.

Anxiety thus makes good sense when you are in danger. Here it helps you survive.

But what if the anxiety also begins to arise in harmless situations?

When you get anxiety in situations that are not dangerous, it is usually called irrational anxiety. So when there is no rational or justified by real danger, but based on your thoughts and ideas.

What does the word “anxiety” mean?
The word “anxiety” covers an intense inner feeling and state of turmoil, nervousness accompanied by thoughts and beliefs that something terrible will happen at once.

Fear and anxiety are not the same. Fear arises when you fear something concrete. Anxiety arises from the thoughts you think (or imagine) that something dangerous or very unpleasant will happen.

Fear is, for example, when you are on the road and cannot move you and the cars rush towards you. You fear for your life. The situation is concrete – and you are in real danger.

Anxiety is, for example, when you dare not cross the road because you think or imagine that you are stuck in the middle of the road and therefore can be in danger.

How does anxiety feel?
Anxiety feels different from person to person. It is unique and settles on your personality, behavior, way of thinking, history, relationships, genes, etc.

You can experience anxiety rise and fall in intensity and strength. And you can experience it in all degrees, from easy and fleeting turmoil to uncontrolled, frantic horror.

Some experience irrational anxiety during periods while others experience it as daily scrolls, where it alternately moves and decreases subsequently.

You can be anxious about everything. Things, people, places, situations, emotions, seasons, thoughts – you name it!

You may experience anxiety about a particular thing one day without the same thing causing anxiety the other day. This is due, for example, to the thoughts and beliefs you make yourself or the stress level you have the current day and time. Other things can also play.

What symptoms do you get?
Just as you may have different types of anxiety to fight with, you may also experience various anxiety symptoms. The symptoms may vary depending on how stressed you are and the situation you are in.

The most typical anxiety symptoms may include:

• heartbeat
• increased and superficial breathing
• the knuckle in the stomach
• shaking hands and legs
• flushing
• dizziness
• thoughts about future danger/discomfort
• notions of something you feel strongly discomforted with
• urge to fight or escape
• and many more

How do you know you have an anxiety disorder?
It can be difficult to assess when it has developed into a definite disorder. In many cases, the transition from common anxiety to inhibitory and debilitating can be difficult to detect.

For some experienced anxiety that comes down the dump from a cloudless sky and with a magic stroke the legs turn away beneath you and paralyze you from day one. For others it comes creeping and tackles you without you noticing it.

Your doctor may diagnose whether anxiety disorder is involved or not.

Far away, however, you yourself will have a good sense of whether your anxiety fills too much in your life. It fills too much and prevents you from living the life you want to live – you will feel it as a suffering.

You may suffer from various types of anxiety. Anxiety is divided into several different categories, such as ‘generalized anxiety’, ‘social phobia / social anxiety’, ‘panic disorder’, ‘anxiety disorder’, ‘agorafbi’, ‘oCD’ and ‘simple phobia’ etc. You can easily fight with several different types of anxiety at once.

If you have any doubts about what you feel is anxiety, it is a good idea to talk to a doctor and possibly. a psychologist who can help you recognize the symptoms.

How to get rid of your anxiety
There are many ways in which you can get the fear back again. I could write page up and down (that’s actually what I do too) about which methods and techniques work.

Here I have gathered 7 basic conditions that I think are needed to establish the road to less anxiety. They come here:

• Examine whether what you are experiencing is anxiety.
• Recognition is an ongoing process. Give yourself time to recognize.
• Seek knowledge and insight into what anxiety is.
• Go in therapy.
• Get to know the tools and techniques.
• Practice. Every day.
• Keep going.

You do not need insight, tools and techniques to escape your anxiety. When you take the online course: Become the coolest Angstfighter you get all the important and effective methods and techniques in the field:

• stress Management
• mindfulness
• cognitive methods
• and exposure

All effective and effective methods and tools with exercise get your anxiety to escape.

It is not only entirely bad to be stressed! But it requires that you change your attitude to the concept to be stressed!

Kelly McGonial is a psychologist at Stanford University. Through books, articles, courses and workshops, she works to help us to understand and implement the latest scientific evidence in psychology, neuroscience and medicine.

She is researching a new book “The upside of stress”, which looks at both why stress is good for us and what makes us good at stress. In her words: “The old understanding of stress as a unhelpful relic of our animal instincts is being replaced by the understanding that stress actually makes us socially smart – it’s what allows us to be fully human”.

In her talk she speaks about stress and the way we choose to deal with stress. When you choose to look at long-term stress as being something your body makes against you will side effects and damage to the body only worsen.

She says that the stress hormone oxicytin – also called “the cuddle hormone” does something to you under stress such as developing your empathy, and your desire to surround yourself with people who will support you. The oxicytin also makes that you pay attention to when someone you care about need your help and support. In other words, when you get stressed, you will simultaneously also more gets social.

Her message is that when you know this and choose to recognize it when you’re stressed, you’ll send yourself a signal that you can have confidence in yourself and know that you are well able to cope life when it’s tough and you are challenged – not to mention that you no longer need to do it alone.

Have you noticed your “cuddle hormone”?

Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend (14:29 min.)

There is a tiger after you, you hear its breath behind you, catching up with you at full speed! Its eyes burns in your neck and you are 100% sure that in a second it will set its enormous teeth into your throat and you will die immediately! Without a thought your brain puts you on high alert.

It is now you must survive!

What do you do? 1) Do you turn around and fight against the tiger? 2. Do you run? 3. Do you play dead? 4. Or is it now you need to ensure your species survival and throw yourself over the first person you see to bring children into the world?

What do you think your brain is programmed for ensuring your life? The first three proposals or the last?

Your brain was programmed in perilous situations to fight, flee or play dead. Not to make children play and enjoy. Not to express yourself sexually. Surviving is what you should and it’s exactly what your body do when you feel anxiety – also in your everyday life. You are not on the savannah, there is no tiger trying to hunt you down, but your brain think there is!

Do you still wonder why you find it difficult to feel sexual pleasure, while you are feeling anxious? It is quite natural that sexuality becomes inhibited when you feel anxious. You are made to create children in a safe environment, in security and peace and quiet places (stress can cause inhibiting contractions during childbirth because stress produces adrenaline and adrenaline affects oxytocin which stimulating contractions).

Your brain plays tricks on you! It causes your body to react to a situation which is not necessarily dangerous for you. It tells you that you are at risk even if you are safe.

Accept yourself here and now

Maybe there are lots of periods in between your anxious periods where you can enjoy and express your sexuality – maybe it’s not even a problem for you. It may also be that you are just one of those who blame yourself for not feeling desire, and your partner asks why you do not want sex anymore and you can not answer exactly why. Maybe you think there is something wrong with your sexual performance? You might blame yourself for not being more ready and willing – when the rest of the world is showing lust and sexuality in all media and magazines!

Have you had anxiety throughout your life, there has probably been a space enough for sexual adaptation along the way, but what if you suddenly have been struck from anxiety and suddenly melts down sexually? Do you know that it is natural and that it comes back when you cope with the anxiety and the reason for it?

Many experience side effects from the anxiety-medicine they get from the doctor. One of the major side effects is reduction of sexual desire. Can you accept that the sexual reduction while taking medications and does your partner? What do you do when you experience potency problems for a period in your life? Do you get even more anxiety and do you push yourself even harder?

No matter what the cause is and for how long you have had low sexual desire it is important to accept that it is your situation right here and now. Your thoughts and your assessment of your abilities can only be negatively reinforcing and push yourself more. This does not mean you think it’s nice or easy while you are in it, but by letting go of self-criticism and questions like “why me?” you can use your good thoughts to work with the issues that need your focus.

Get help! Reach out! Talk about it! Be open towards your partner! Ask your friends how they experience it when their sexuality is reduced when they are anxious or stressed. Find those of your friends that gives you a feeling of acceptance and recognition that you are where you are right now and think it’s okay though hard to be in. Break the taboo! There is usually a reason behind that you have to work with, if necessary with the help of a psychologist / therapist.

When you are turning around and look for the tiger – it is not there! So, you don´t have to fight, flee or play dead or feel anxiety. Accept and cope!