There is a lot that contributes to your anxiety. Do you know that your behavior can help maintaining the anxiety?
What is avoidance behavior?
When I experienced my first anxiety attack, back in my teenage year, I was not aware that it was an anxiety attack. I thought it was me who could no longer keep a straight face and had lost all control of myself. I felt everyone was looking at me because I showed weakness and thought they had never seen anything like it. I was ashamed and did most of all want to escape. If it was possible I would have wiped my experience free from everyone’s memorys. The experience in itself was physically but also mixed with an intense sense of social shame.
Since I could not erase the memory and history from either them or myself, I could not forget the incident. The thought of the experience could get my heart racing and my body to shake and my thoughts were in constantly focus on of how I could avoid losing control again. At that time I did not know strategies for how I could deal with the anxiety. Therefore my immediate reaction was to control myself even more. That is, suppress my feelings, my sadness, anger and irritation, hide my insecurity and shyness. The natural reaction was to tighten up even more in my hands, arms, legs and stomach. Even my smile muscles were tense.
My reaction was natural because it was the only way I knew how I could cope with the feelings. But it did not work particularly well. In fact, I put myself under further pressure and led therefore to that the anxiety quickly turned back.